


I am ashes where I was once fire | gay asbestos elves

by havisham



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Accidental Watersports, Deliberate Badfic, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Ghost Sex, Light Incest, M/M, Piped Tags | Useful Tags, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-24 15:33:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6158287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havisham/pseuds/havisham
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maedhros | Maitimo feels his flame ebb due to depression. Does Fingon | Findekáno have what it take to his cousin | lover in hand? And can their love pierce through the veil of death and help any one at all? These are all rhetorical questions that are not really answered in this fic. </p><p>Pls R & R.</p><p> DON'T LIKE DON'T READ.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am ashes where I was once fire | gay asbestos elves

**Author's Note:**

> Thx to my beta. I thought all your suggestion were dumb so I didn't use any of them, lmao.

Fingon | Findekáno's sharp silver cerulean elf eyes were sharp and he was able to tell that Maedhros | Maitimo's heart just wasn't in their usually enthusiastic coupling. "Lover, what's wrong? You are usually never this downhearted when I am rogering you senseless, not even that time your father walked into us." 

Maedhros | Maitimo sighed, acknowledging the accuracy of his cousin | lover's words. "I know not what is wrong, only that it is. My heart fears that our Union, so carefully planned and so dearly bought, should somehow fail." 

"How can a plan of yours fail?" Fingon | Findekáno asked so earnestly and so innocently that Maedhros | Maitimo suspected that his cousin was being sarcastic. But Fingon | Findekáno went on, saying, 'No, I am sure everything will work out well, you'll see. Those new Secondborn followers of yours -- the people Caranthir | Morifinwë manages -- sound especially promising. Besides, you know what they say -- it's now or never." 

"I suppose," Maedhros | Maitimo said with a heavy heart. "Oh well. Continue on with what you were doing." 

And Fingon | Findekáno did, to the mutual pleasure of all involved.

 

***

Some years later, on the charred and devastated battlefield, Maedhros | Maitimo took the news of Fingon | Findekáno's horrible death relatively well. He screamed only for a little while and beheaded a total of only forty Orcs. Then, and only then, did he collapse into his brother, Maglor | Kanafinwë | Makalaurë's blood-stained arms. "My heart is dead!" he cried, "MY HEART IS DEAD! _MY HEART IS DEAD!_ " 

"Well, now my ears are dead," complained Caranthir | Morifinwë, who was the harshest of the brothers, but also quite accurate in his caustic way.

***

It took some time for Maglor | Daegmund Swinsere | Kanafinwë | Makalaurë to notice some oddities in the camp. Maedhros | Maitimo's tent was always colder than anywhere else in the camp, and whenever he went in there, he had the oddest feeling of being watched. 

Once, he caught his brother as he was come blundering in, wild-eyed and calling, "Káno?" 

"Yes, that's me," said Maglor | Káno? [do you mean | the Author of the Noldolantë?] cautiously. 

But Maedhros | Maedhros' eyes cleared and he shook his head, a fell look of sorrow in his eyes. "My apologies, brother. I did not mean you." 

"Oh." 

The next day, Maglor | Kanafinwë | Makalaurë found four golden ribbons next to his bed roll. No one could tell him how it got there. 

The houseless spirit of Fingon | Findekáno revealed himself to Maglor | Kanafinwë | Makalaurë sometime after, just as Maglor was going off into the woods to relieve himself. "Hello, Makalaurë," Fingon | Findekáno said, whispering right into Maglor's ear. 

"Wha--" said Maglor | Kanafinwë | Makalaurë, pissing right into his boots. "Damn it, those were my only clean pair of boots." 

"Forgive me this intrusion," said the houseless spirit of Fingon | Findekáno, as he entered the into the unwary body of Maglor | Kanafinwë | Makalaurë and then sighed over his wet boots. 

***

Maedhros | Maitimo was brooding on his usual brooding spot, running through all the mistakes he had ever made in his life, from his first misshapen horseshoe, to planning battles that ended in massive death and horrendous defeat. He hardly marked it when Maglor | Kanafinwë | Makalaurë came in. It was raining now and the sound of it nearly drowned out what Maglor| Kanafinwë | Makalaurë was saying. 

"What are you saying, Makalaurë?" said Maedhros | Maitimo, looking up with more than a little annoyance. "Cat got your tongue?" 

"Forgive me, my love," said Fingon | Maglor, with a rusty-sounding laugh. "I'm no longer used to having a mouth." 

“I know that I have been slowly going mad,” Maedhros | Maitimo said quietly, as he rose from his seat. “But this is a little much.” 

He took out one of the many knifes he kept on his person at all time. But before he could do much to it, his brother -- his lover -- the thing that had one been both was upon him. He was strong, stronger even more than he had been in life -- though Maglor -- poor, singular Maglor | Makalaurë -- had never been a slouch there either. 

Maedhros | Maitimo wrapped his hand around as much of Fingon | Maglor’s throat as he could, biting hard against whatever soft bit of flesh he could find. All of the sudden, Fingon | Maglor let him go, kicking himself across the floor of the tent. 

“I thought,” he said, spitting out a great hunk of hair, both red and black. “You would be glad to see me again! All those loving words, all those sighs, those speeches, did they mean nothing to you? I feel quite used.” 

“ _You_ ,” Maedhros | Maitimo said, “were to go to Mandos and be healed. You were to be rehoused, eventually. That is the only way I could stand your death!” 

“Healed? Rehoused?” Fingon | Maglor scoffed. “You forget that I have killed as many as you. More, perhaps, in the din of battle. There would be no healing for me. I could not go back. And I did not want to.” 

“But --” Maedhros | Maitimo stilled. Softly, he said, “But do not do this to Makalaurë, Findekáno. It should be between you and I, as it always has been.” 

Fingon | Maglor considered this for a moment before he crawled toward Maitimo | Maedhros and pulled him down. His tongue traced the line of Maedhros | Maitimo’s jaw. “Your brother is very noble too, you know. He says he is willing to let us have one time together.” 

“Kind though he is,” Maedhros | Maitimo said, “a gentleman never ought to overstay his welcome.” 

“My dear,” Fingon | Maglor said, his eyes wide. “I was a king, not a gentleman.” 

 

***

Maglor | Malakaurë woke up the next day huddled on the floor of his brother’s tent, with the toe of his brother’s boot poking against his ribs. He did not remember how he had gotten there. Or, really, anything after going to the woods to relieve himself. He looked up, and Maedhros | Maitimo | Fingon | Findekáno looking down at him. 

“Get up, lazy-bones,” said his brother | cousin. “It’s a brand new day. How do you feel about attacking Doriath?”

**Author's Note:**

> DEDICATED 2 THE BLACK LOBSTER, XOXO
> 
>  **EDIT 03/23/2016** PS I ONLY LINKED TO THIS GARBAGE REMIX SO EVERY1 COULD SEE HOW MUCH IT SUCKED.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I see fire | Piping is unnecessary](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6320140) by Anonymous 




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